Last Updated on December 12, 2023 by The Smetz Files
A few weeks ago we traveled to Pennsylvania to celebrate the life of Jay’s grandfather. It was simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming. His grandparents were married 70 years and spent their entire lives in a small town, surrounded by extended family and lifelong friends. It was a beautiful tribute to a life well lived.
It was great fun seeing extended family we rarely see beyond social media and hearing stories from his family’s history. It was a great opportunity for our kids to spend time with cousins, support G Gma in her grief, and hear more about their roots.
What’s important
It was also a powerful reminder of the simplicities of life. I was reminded that having a partner you love, admire, and respect is a gift. Being surrounded by family, those that love you unconditionally, is special. Friends that feel like chosen family are a Godsend. Time is finite.
I write a lot on my blog about my desire to experience life for what it is, to maximize each moment, and to live a life of purpose, especially when it comes to raising our kids. I strive to focus on living simply in a culture that prioritizes chaos and high expectations.
In preparation for time away, I canceled appointments, rearranged calendars, and helped the kids manage the disappointment of missing games, time with friends, and planned events they were looking forward to.
Grief
The kids faced the stark realities of grief. They worried about G Gma being lonely; they asked who would take care of her, they wondered about her house and the practicalities of daily living. They graciously stepped out of their comfort zone and stood in a receiving line and attended their first funeral for a close relative. I saw first hand that distance in miles was no match for the comfort of family.
It was emotionally exhausting. We were physically tired from the long drive. But we were together, with Jay’s family, attending to his grandmother, and that was exactly where we were supposed to be.
They saw many of the important adults in their life in tears. We didn’t ‘protect’ them from the harsh realities of grief, we merely tried to be a soft landing spot for their own displays of sadness. Hopefully we normalized the sadness, fear, and questioning that comes when a loved one passes away.
How do you prepare and support your kids during life’s less than fun times?
