Last Updated on October 31, 2024 by The Smetz Files
Considering youth sports? Novice sports moms reached out for advice. Here are four points to remember from a seasoned sports mom with almost a decade on the sidelines.
I’ve written several posts about raising two kids active in youth sports and various activities. Read more here:
I am by no means an ‘expert’ sports mom. I’m barely a decade into this journey! Don’t judge how haggard I look, these weekend tournaments can be exhausting!
At times I reflect on the absurdity of it all and get a good chuckle from those content creators who poke fun at the insanity that is frequently associated with youth sports.
Don’t get me wrong, raising young athletes has been a lot of fun, too!
One thing is for sure, we devote a lot of time and attention to making sure our family’s experience with youth sports is productive and rewarding. Let’s be real, it’s a huge investment, both financially and emotionally!
Recently, a few moms reached out to me privately to discuss their current situation with their kids’ athletic endeavors and to get my thoughts. Side note: that is perhaps the BEST part of my blogging, connecting with fellow parents figuring out this parenting gig! If you’re not following the Smetz Files on social media, let’s connect!
As someone who is further along the journey of supporting my kids in youth sports, here are a four things I shared with them as they considered their options.
Be honest
First, always be honest with yourself (and your kid) about what you’re looking for. Have you seen the Holderness family reel about the stages of youth sports? It’s worth a watch!
While completely tongue in cheek, satirical, there is some element of truth to the progression from giving up your Saturdays to rec ball to the transition of full blown travel schedules.
Think about your family’s commitments and priorities and honestly evaluate how serious you want to take things. Following your kids’ interest can be fun. It can also be demanding.
Be patient
Next, be patient. Finding the right fit can take time. This has been the hardest aspect for me. Rome was not built in a day. And when you encounter successful teams, they are likely established groups of athletes and families who have been practicing and playing together for years. Don’t be discouraged if you don’t find the perfect team the first go round. Be patient and keep searching.
Be attuned to your kid
I lean into this advice a lot: know their cues and how to read their true thoughts and feelings toward things. It’s easy to seek out the ‘best’ team or ‘winningest’ team based on social media and reputation. However, that might not be the best fit for your kid. So, look beyond the mystique of reputation and evaluate how your kid reacts to the coaching, team atmosphere, and general philosophy and approach to the game. We’re seeking the balance between being appropriately challenged and having fun with teammates. It can’t be all work and no play! Your kid’s feelings about how things are going are worth paying attention to.
Be realistic
Lastly, be realistic. One of the moms expressed concern about finding an organization that aligned with their goals because their fear was travel sports is a money grab. To some extent all youth sports is a money grab.
Go back to my first point, be honest with yourself about what you’re expecting and willing to do to make the youth sports journey possible for your kids. We have no grand delusions our kids are the next break out stars of their generation. We know statistically it is unlikely they play anything competitively beyond their high school years.
We go into the season eyes wide open. Weekend tournaments can be long. Packing and unpacking the car for all manor of circumstance can be exhausting. Eating at odd hours throws us off. Doing the sports mom shuffle across town to get to practice can be stressful. And it can all be expensive!
We also know sports teach a lot of life lessons and begin establishing healthy habits for maintaining physical health and a strong work ethic that will serve them well as they enter the workforce and become leaders in their communities.
A final thought: be weary.
Don’t be blinded by the parents and teams who blast social media with their banners and rings. Of course, winning is fun! And naturally, we want to share and celebrate when our kids do well. But, our kids identities are not wrapped up in weekend wins and flashy rings.
Obviously having multiple kids active in anything compounds the potential stress and logistics. We do a lot of divide and conquer, both during the week and on weekends. That can be exhausting and invariably something falls through the cracks, despite our best efforts.
As with all things parenting related, give yourself grace!
