Sports Moms: Know Your Role

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Last Updated on August 8, 2024 by The Smetz Files

In this post I explore the role of sports moms raising young athletes.

Sports Moms, what’s your role?

If you’ve spent any time at youth sporting events you’ve likely come across the expected types of sports parents, at least the overly generalizable ones.

For example, there’s the overhyped, super fan yelling from the stands on every play. There’s the perimeter parents, often watching from the outfield, quietly observing from a distant vantage point. There’s typically a frantic, get there last minute sports mom with siblings in tow, dragging an overfilling wagon and she rarely gets to enjoy the game because she’s busy finding the next snack, or getting a kid to the bathroom. 

I can humbly say I’ve been some version of all three of these stereotypes!

But, deep down, have you ever stopped to evaluate your role as a sports mom? Beyond the chauffeur, unform washing, snack providing tangible aspects?

Here are some things I’ve admired about veteran sports moms I’ve talked to: they are advocates for their athletes; they are encouragers of their athletes; and they protect their athletes.

So, what does that mean for us raising young athletes? I’ll explain more.

Processing and Filtering

The veteran sports moms I admire talk about knowing their athlete well and helping position them to be their best. We can do this in small ways.

You know your kids well. You know what motivates them, but also what can turn them away. It’s helpful to listen to your athlete and help them process feedback. This can be tricky if they are worried about failing or messing up in games.

We talk to our young athletes a lot about being receptive to feedback and observing what’s going on around them. Practice is the optimal time to get better, work hard, and develop muscle memory for game situations. Also be aware constructive feedback is helpful in their development. So is helping them process it and making adjustments. 

I like showing them positive examples of what they should be striving for. Sometimes that means watching more advanced players. Often it means watching videos of experts. It can also be analyzing their game performances. Regardless of what works for your athlete, helping them process and filter information is key. 

Encouragement

The biggest turn off I see sports parents make is nagging their kids and coaching from the sidelines. Encouraging them and cheering them on is great. Barking from the bleachers not so much.

We make an effort to cheer on our kids and their teammates during games, while making mental notes we want to ask them about after the game. Usually, those post-game conversations center around their thinking in the moment. For example, we ask things like, ‘When that ball came to you, what were you thinking?’ Or, ‘you seemed really composed when you were down 0-2 in the count, how were you feeling?’ What adjustments can you make is another question we frequently discuss.

Cheering them on in the moment and encouraging them to rely on their training and confidence is a key part of our role as sports moms. 

Keeper of the Calm

Protecting their calm is an important part of the sports mom role. This one can be hard, especially when situations get out of control on the field or court. I always try to be the keeper of the calm and help my athletes maintain equilibrium. Of course emotions run high in the heat of battle, but it’s so important to help them quiet the noise inside their heads and rely on their training and confidence in their abilities to battle out of tough situations.

This varies by individual because one of mine wears his emotions on his sleeve while my other athlete is stoic and calm regardless of what’s going on in the game. I try to read their body language and nonverbal cues and talk with them about how to manage big emotions, both elation and disappointment, related to their athletic endeavors. 

We have a few key words or phrases that we can say during tough games or when we see they’re starting to spiral. These key words are individualized and they serve as a simple reminder to settle and control what you can. 

Once my young son was pitching in a tight ballgame and a line drive came back at him. It struck his leg and he fell. I yelled, ‘recover’ (something one of my best sports mom friends STILL teases me about to this day!) as he grabbed the ball rolling off the mound and threw to first from his knees to get the out. Of course, once the out was recorded, his coach called time to check on him and he gave me the thumbs up to let me know he had in fact recovered!

Know Your Stuff

One of the best ways we sports moms show up for kiddos is knowing their sport. This can be difficult if they’re trying lots of new sports. Knowing the rules, situational nuance, and positions can be overwhelming. I love learning more about their sports and developing an understanding of the finer points of the game with them. We are huge college sports fans, so watching the collegiate athletes compete is a fun way for us to connect as a family and for me to learn more about the sports they love oh, so much. 

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In sum, here are key ways to show up for your athlete:

• Listen to them
• Help them process feedback
• Encourage them
• Protect their calm
• Learn the sport together

Raising young athletes can overwhelming and so very rewarding. You are simultaneously watching your heart out on that field and confidently cheering them on in the heat of battle. It’s not easy!

What’s key to your role as a sports mom?