Last Updated on April 18, 2024 by The Smetz Files
In the frenzied chaos that is often involved with raising children, I reflect on the importance of recentering and prioritizing your relationship with your partner.
I read a post on Instagram recently from Her View From Home that outlined examples of how raising children can draw our attention from our relationships with our partners, the very relationship that is our family’s foundation.
The examples and the message of that post, we came first, resonated with me.
It is so easy to let demands on our time and attention usurp all our energy. What I loved about the examples from Her View From Home’s post was how we nurture that foundational relationship might look different based on our season of life, but nevertheless, we have to tend to that essential bond.
Nurturing the Partnership
It got me thinking about how I nurture my partnership with Jay. We are working parents to two active kids and a dog. Jay and I are an all hands on deck partnership. We have certain areas of expertise, but in general we share the workload of family life.
Maintaining that balance looks differently each day. Some days are prettier than others, but overall we work to maintain equilibrium. I often think about the idea that we came first in quiet moments together.
Driving in the car, listening to music…just the two of us.
Standing in the rain watching a baseball game…just the two of us.
Riding bikes at the beach, exploring the island…just the two of us.
Cleaning the kitchen after dinner, effortlessly unpacking our day…just the two of us.
These aren’t glamorous examples. They aren’t expensive outings. In fact, they are rather mundane moments.
But they are important, because they are centered on the idea that we came first.
These moments ground our partnership.
Gratitude
It is in the quiet, simplicity of these moments that I find myself feeling gratitude. Grateful I get to do this life journey with him. Grateful that we have accomplished much of what we discussed as twenty somethings, just starting out in the world. Grateful that in times of sorrow and heartache, I get to lean on him. And endlessly grateful the ordinary feels extraordinary when we’re together.
So, yeah, the idea we came first doesn’t look like fancy dinners, expensive trips, or extravagant gifts for us right now. It’s in the quiet realization that above all else, we came first, and that’s pretty spectacular.
If you’re in the midst of raising children it can feel overwhelming. How do you and your partner prioritize your foundational relationship?
Read more of my simple musings and let’s connect on social media!
